News In Brief
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SBS
To Increase Price And Reduce Service Level
BRADDELL
ROAD, SINGAPORE -- Shitty Bus Service, commonly
known as SBS, has announced today that the company will increase the bus
fare by 70% over the next 2 months and reduce the level of services at
the same time. The main reason behind
this price move and service adjustment is because of the monopolistic
power the company has over the majority of the bus routes, quoted the
company spokesman. He also indicated that there is nothing the
passengers can do about this change unless they are rich enough to buy
their own cars. "We are no longer interested in providing valuable
services to the customers. We are now more interested in ripping them
off, especially the tourists.", added the spokesman. Some of the ways to reduce their service
level are insisting that
the passengers have underpaid their travel fare even when they had paid
the right amount and inspecting the passenger's ticket every two bus
stops.
Farts Activities More
Than Doubled In Last 10 Years
KALLANG, SINGAPORE --
The fart is thriving in Singapore if the amount of fart
activities in the last 10 years is anything to go
by. These have more than doubled and the blossoming
is a result of private and public sector support, said director of the
"Fart is an Art" Center during the center's opening ceremony.
Performance fart activities jumped from 1,500,000
counts in 1989 to 3,800,000 counts in 1999.For visual farts, the number
of exhibitions rose from 212,000 to 406,000.
CASES
Declares War On Unfair Sales Practices
TANJONG
PAGAR,
SINGAPORE -- High pressure sales, misrepresentation,
confusion and misleading conduct. Such unacceptable
sales practices seem to be returning in a big way in the transportation
and telecommunication services based on the rising number of consumer
complaints. And CASES has declared war on the companies involved.
Promised refund of fare-card that did not materialize, confusing "IDD,
DDD and ICC" branding which entice consumers
with empty promises: these are just some of the
practices CASES wants to warn us.
CASES has also promised to join force with the Armed Forces to attack
these unscrupulous businesses from land, air and sea. And for the first
time, the newly acquired submarines will be deployed in real
action.
