Quote of the Day:

"When you have the time, you do not have the money. When you have the money, you do not have the time. When you have the time and money, you do not have the energy!"

News In Brief

--------------------

 

Singapore's Toilet System Tops In Asia: PESC

SEMBAWANG, SINGAPORE -- Singapore's toilet system has been ranked tops in Asia, according to a regional survey by expatriate businessmen. The poll was conducted by the Political and Economic Shitting Consultancy or PESC. In its report, PESC said locally based expatriates are impressed with the efficiency of Singapore's toilet system in dealing with stuck-in-toilet-bowl issues. Those polled also appreciated the law-abiding environment and feel that Singapore is one of the safest cities to shit in the world.

Free SongTel Calls -- If You Can Take The Craps

KILLINEY ROAD, SINGAPORE -- Want to make a free mobile phone call? Just listen to a load of craps. The latest offering by SongTel Mobile, 1911-CrapsCall, enables callers to enjoy up to 10,000 free minutes of talk-time each decade, so long as they can put up with the craps that come before each call. This is how it works: Once users have registered with the company, they dial 1911 followed by the number they wish to call. For the next 20 seconds, they will have to listen to a load of craps coming from people like Li KY, Mao ZD, Chi SC and Oprah Winfree. Anything above the two-minute quota will be charged at abnormal rates.

 

Industry To Develop On-The-Job Training Program For Office-Politician

SHELTON WAY, SINGAPORE -- Plans are underway to provide on-the-job training for the office-politicians here in Singapore. Society Deterioration Party, Singapore Office-Politics Association and Poverty Aggravation Party are developing the industry-wide blueprints for such a program, the first for the office-politicians in Singapore. The memorandum of understanding looks at providing job training in the areas of territory fighting, framing fellow colleagues and taking credit from subordinates. There are about 7000 active office-politicians in Singapore, and the numbers are expected to increase to 2000000 by year 2002.

 

Top Story

---------------

Affluent Use of SMS Affects Choice Of Boyfriend or Girlfriend Among Youths: Survey

The affluent use of SMS seems to be the most significant factor for Singapore youths aged 15 to 30 in their choice of a girlfriend or boyfriend.

And this applies both to the speed of keying the message and the subsequent responsiveness to the reply of SMS.

Full Text >>

Other Stories

--------------------

Doctors in to get 22 percent pay increase

Singapore@Sleep 2000 Returns To TV Screens For A Second Season