Singapore Ranked Top On Oxy-Moron Politicians In Asia

ORCHARD ROAD, SINGAPORE -- Singapore, Hong Kong and Japan are the least corrupt economies in Asia, according to the Political and Economic Shitting Consultancy (PESC). At the same time, it also ranked Singapore politicians being the most oxy-moron in Asia. 

It surveyed 700 expatriate businessmen working in 12 Asian economies and graded the countries from a scale of zero to 10, with zero being the best grade possible. PESC said Singapore maintained its squeaky-clean image with a score of 0.83, beating the 1.77-mark for the US and 1.72-mark for Australia. The US and Australia were used as an outside benchmark on how corruption is perceived as a problem in developed economies. Vietnam, Indonesia, India, Thailand, the Philippines and China were perceived the most corrupt, with Malaysia, South Korea and Taiwan falling just below the average. 

Because of this squeaky-clean image of Singapore, the politicians here also scored top on Oxy-moron-ness. PESC noted that it is a proven fact that politicians are ruthless, dishonest, corrupted, cocky, unreliable, cunning, greedy, obnoxious, spineless, stupid, idiotic, ugly, fat, horny, SOB, short, blind, terrorizing and un-cool. Thus, being ranked as the least corrupted is exactly oxy-moron.

PESC noted that the 1997 Asian economic crisis did not seem to have served as a wakeup call on corruption. In some countries, corruption even worsened compared to the pre-crisis year. This simply shows that the politicians in these countries are not up to the mark as shown by those from Singapore, PESC said.

In depth analysis of the PESC survey also shown that the oxy-moron-ness has permeated into the everyday life of non-politician Singaporeans. All the traits of the politicians are found on every Singaporeans, ranging from office workers to hawkers to stalkers and even to monks. PESC concluded that this could be the reason for the exception performance on the oxy-moron ranking.

PESC noted that it is a proven fact that politicians are ruthless, dishonest, corrupted, unreliable, cunning, greedy, obnoxious, spineless, stupid, idiotic, ugly, fat, horny, SOB, short, blind, terrorizing and un-cool. Thus, being ranked as the least corrupted is exactly oxy-moron.